My True Identity

Since childhood, I’ve always believed myself to be a coward.  Many of my life’s decisions were based on fear, which led me to pride myself on always being practical and safe.  So safe in fact, I get an occupational safe driver discount for being an Executive Assistant (a role assumed to be safe and practical).  Did I mention I still drive the same reliable and practical car for the last 16 yeeeears? 

Here’s the thing, what many may not know about me, that I didn’t even know about myself until further introspection.  I’m an incognito thrill seeker.  It seems I subconsciously believe in the saying, “go big or go home.”

Let me share a few examples.  I grew up in L.A., the near bottom of the State, and at 17 I left home to attend CSU, Chico (the near top of the State; roughly 490 miles away).  Did I mention I’d never been away from home before?  I thought I was going to physically die, but I stuck it out and graduated. 

While in college I signed up to go white water rafting, as if that wasn’t enough; after the adventure I jumped into the raging river to “calmly and peacefully” float down the current; and had a near death experience when I got caught in a deadly whirlpool.  Did I mention my ultimate fear of large bodies of water and that I didn’t know how to swim at the time?

Nearing the end of my college career, I joined a cultural immersion program and moved to Merida, Mexico.  Did I mention Merida is on the Yucatan Peninsula (roughly 3,280 miles away)?  The farthest part of Mexico one can travel.  Of course I did that.

Speaking of Mexico, many years ago my husband and I went ziplining for the first time in the Mexican jungle, but not before we had to ride donkeys up one of the steepest cliffs I’ve ever been on; no guardrails!  We then repelled “Mission Impossible Style” down an amazing waterfall, and ended our adventure sliding down a large, enclosed waterslide while having to wear a wire caged face mask (for reasons explained to us after the excursion).  Did I mention I’m claustrophobic? 

For our 5th year anniversary, my husband and I went skydiving for the first time in the windy city of Monterey, and of course chose the option for the world’s highest tandem (18,000 ft above the ground to be exact).  I wouldn’t recommend this for your first time, as I found out one can experience the feeling of drowning in midair.  Oh, by the way, did I mention I also discovered that I have a fear of heights?

So here we are and apparently, I haven’t slowed down.  This past November, my husband and I traveled to Australia for his 50th birthday in order to… wait for it… cage dive with Great white sharks.  You all remember me mentioning my ultimate fear of large bodies of water, and that I’m claustrophobic, right?

I’ve come to realize I never really was a coward; and apparently, I also subconsciously believe in the quote, “Feel the fear, and do it anyway.”  Now I don’t always do it well, but I always do it anyway; and I never go home without first going big; something I recommend to all of you.

Please let me know what’s something you have done or something you are going to do in order to practice “feeling the fear, and doing it anyway.”